Something for Father's Day

A day to my birthday, 2003, and typing

Your second son was born
must have touched my head
how smart i would be
a part of you live in me
now you're gone.

how was the weather like that Oct afternoon?
did you know it's a boy?
how long did you think of what to call me
the youngest of the family

never was there a memory of caringness on days any other
nor birthdays celebrated
Instead you never fail to part with your hard earnings
on the toys I've got once in a while.

The books, the fees, the computers when rams are sold per mb.
all for the future you let me choose
and the support unrelentless
You tried your best when your pockets empty
yet till the end i have paid no toll nor due enough.

and all the times when I'm down with fever so high
when I'm not able to walk or stay much awake
I remember you come in before you work
and put your hands on my head
the most recent time when I'm sick
you did the same, hoping for my recovery

the last and only time i place my hand on you head
you were motionless and cold
I was hoping for your recovery
that never came.

And now you're gone
I'm left with debts unpaid
words over due
and promises un fulfilled

What's left is the little memories
of the man that gave me life.
and that maybe I would pay my debt
when I have a son.

If I ever...